Sleeping Mew Mew's
by TwystedCareBear
Summary: Ever wondered what's in the Mew Mew's dreams? Kay, it isn't that hard. Ever wondered what would happen if someone turned them into a nightmare? If not... Prepare to find out. R&R, please .
1. Retasu

Sword-chan- Welcome to my newest fic, _Sleeping Mew Mews._ I GET TO SPY ON ALL THE MEW MEWS (And aliens, creators, and Spawn Of Satan A.K.A Masaya) DREAMS!

Kishuu- This should be… Fun o-o

Sword-chan- So let's start with Retasu/Lettuce/NOT BRIDGET's dreams!

Kishuu- Why not me?

Sword-chan- Retasu doesn't get enough attention…

Retasu- No! I don't WANT attention!

Sword-chan- Hmm, O.K, I'll just focus on Ms. Mary Sue And Over-Rated Ichigo's dreams…

Ichigo- HEY!

Kishuu- Hush, kitten, she didn't mean it… She always makes you saiken in her fics…

Sword-chan- Bad pun, bud. -.-; Anyways, I'll just focus on Ichigo's…

Retasu- On second thought…

All But Ichigo- YAY!

X.x.X- Chapter 1- Mageec -X.x.X

A crazed fan -somehow- found her way into Takahashi's and Ikumi's realm of Tokyo Mew Mew—Then Retasu's house, then Retasu's room.

"Ceezus Jheriast, she's obsessed with MAGICAL MIDORI DOLLS!" (A/N- Midori is a roleplay character for J-Rock Band RPs of mine… Well, I was vague in my description of her walking, so someone thought she'd walked through walls and called her magical Midori! From that, a theme song, dolls… An anime… Yeah. All imaginary.) Sword-chan whispered in awe, that her own little roleplay character had somehow popped into Retasu's room. After a few minutes of awe, she decided it must be because Midori has green streaks, and her name means green and all.

"Kay, time to use my authoress powers…" then she sighed, "But it's so much more fun to become a fan character… OH WELLS! AUTHORESS- Oops, can't shout. Authoress powers… Come unto me…!" Of course, no light or anything came unto her, but in her little, crazed mind it did. Anywho, she sort of zapped herself into Retasu's mind, surprised she could fit in there. (XD)

After a few minutes of whacking seaweed away, Retasu came into view in her Mew-Mermaid form, singing some weird song in a language Sword-chan (Or anyone else) could understand. She sang,

"Shmaa shi o laaaaaannnnggggo! La… La… Mm dee dum ka lumanyozi shima, shima oooooooohhhhh shimashima…" then launched into a weird 70s-ish dance.

"Yep. Just keep dancing. Yeah. Break it down," said Sword-chan in a mono-tone, "Oh golly gee, the POINT. Yep. Rock it…"

"Oh!" cried out Retasu in surprise, turning a greenish-red, "What're you doing here? I GOT RID OF YOU IN THERAPY!"

"Nope! I'm that crazy person who writes weird fanfictions in which you have played roles in very little! So, I decided to do THIS! And go into your dreams!"

"So you're really here?"

"Yep,"

"Not in my mind?"

"Nope."

"I can't say 'Poo-poo!" and you'll go away?"

"Um… I'm not sure about that one…"

"POO-POO!"

"Doesn't look like it," Sword-chan retorted, forgetting she was still in monotone. Puffing out her cheeks and sticking her hands in her pockets, she looked around the realm. Pretty much a seaweed forest… Clams… Pearls… _Jeez, doesn't this girl think about anything BUT the ocean?_

_I heard that,_ Retasu beamed.

_Oh lord, TELAPATHY. What's NEXT?_ Replied Sword-chan, sending Retasu an image of Sword-chan glaring very squinty-like.

_That_, Retasu mentally-muttered, pointing at a merman with teal hair.

_He's cuuuuuute._

He's my dream boyfriend - NOT ANYMORE! 

Sword-chan realized that, being in a dream and underwater, it was easier to think herself a mermaid and swim than to walk as a human.

"I'm PINK!" she gasped, regaining her crazy-ditziness (If you didn't notice, she'd been acting semi-clever for a while, much like her real self… Elizabeth. Moi), "I'm pink! AND CUTE! And a mermaid but who cares DUDE I'M CUTE!" Retasu seemed to have noticed that, also, for she had swum to a patch of dead seaweed and started to look very down. Sword-chan weighed possibilites on her hand.

Bishonen merman, Retasu's not being depressed and suicidal… Hmm… It's so hard… 

"Hey there!" chirped the now pink mermaiden, swimming next to him, "I'm, uh, new here… And… What's your name?"

"Su,"

"Oh…" _Sue?_ "I didn't quite catch that…"

"Su."

"O.K, thanks!" _SUE? EW! Who would name a dream-merman SUE?_ Mermaiden awkwardly swam to mermaiden, flailing arms and beaming incoherant thoughts. Eventually she thought _YOU NAMED HIM SUE?_

_Yes. Su. S-U._

_OH! I thought you meant… S-U-E… But what's the difference?_

_It's short for Sushumoshimo._

_Oh… Is that even a name!_

_No… Why should it be? Is it weird! Oh no… I'm a freak!_

_No! NO YOU ARENT! AAAIIIEEE! -runs away- I CANT RUN IN MY MIND! _

_-cry cry-_

Swallowing thickly, authoress/mermaid/future hobo tried to calm a (now physichally…) crying Retasu.

"I'm sure you're perfectly, perfectly normal! Su is a normal name, too! Heh… I mean! No! Su is SO normal! Almost every boy I know has it!"

"Then why w-w-were you s-s-**_so_ _shocked_**? I-i… It can't be so!"

"Can so!"

"Can't be!"

"What if we were to change his name and make it normal?"

"**SO IT WASN'T NORMAL?**"

"Sigh… No…"

"**But you just said it WAS!**"

"I lied!"

"_Lieing is bad…_" Retasu glared, getting a positively sinister look in her eyes, which, might I add, were slo-o-owly turning red.

Now, it isn't bad to have red eyes, but from green to red is an absolutely odd thing to happen, especially when you're calm as cake! If cake is calm at all… Heh…

"Not if you do it to make someone happy!" desperatly insisted Sword-chan.

"_Lieing is bad…_" she repeated, sucking in one cheek and glaring harder, ending up looking somewhat like a dog with it's eyes closed while gnawing on a hard piece of bone.

"Soooo?"

"WHATCHA MEAN SO? ID'YOT!" spewed the mermaid, shooting out after Sword-chan screaming 'Meerrrmeeeoooo!'

X.x.X

**_Thud._** Sword-chan landed on the wooden floor. Keeping herself from 'meeeee'ing out in pain, she turned to the tossing and turning Retasu, whom was murmuring 'Not weird not weird… No, Su, nooo'

"Uh-oh… Gotta run, gotta run, gotta run run run…"

X.x.X- Fin –X.x.X

Sword-chan- -bow- Yes, yes, that's a sample of whats to come!

Cast Of TMM- -cower in fear-

Sword-chan- -glare-

Kishuu- -devises plan to anihilate Sword-


	2. Ichigo

Sword-chan- Sleeping Mew Mews- Chappie two. One review to reply to!

Kishuu- Yay?

Sword-chan- It was a nice review… o-o

**? (There was no name)**- Really? I didn't know that… I was looking for Japanese names a looong time ago and I saw Midori… Spelt with one 'I' in each 'I' place o-o Oh wells. No, I got the idea of totally innocent people turning evil from my own mind and _Chuckie._

Kishuu- BUM BUM BUM!

Sword-chan- Yeah… I actually don't keep up with InuYasha that much anymore, because I don't like the VIZ manga or the translated anime… And I'm so lazy I don't like to read the translations without pictures, since I'm a cheapskate and not spending any of my very little ammount of money… Heh heh… Anyways, let's go.

X.x.X- Chapter Two- Strawberry Fields Of Rainbow Heartache XD –X.x.X

Sword-chan crashed onto the floor, having had a slight brawl with Kishuu, who was hovering outside Ichigo's window. After she offered to take him to Ichigo's dreams, well, he changed his mind about jabbing his nice little dagger through her heart.

"Ow," she mumbled to- or rather at- Asparagus-Head, who was running around the room and taking random trinkets from shelves. _Creepy,_ the authoress thought, cringing.

"Come on," she whispered, "Let's go make Ichigo's dream a nightmare,"

X.x.X

It was too wonderful to bear- So many strawberries… Sword litterally dove into them, gobbling them by the handful.

"Strawberries strawberries strawberries…" she grunted hypnotically. Kishuu looked sad.

"What's wrong?" Sword-chan asked the alien, gobs of strawberry falling out of her mouth.

"Ichigo doesn't like me,"

"Well DUH!" she screamed, "Haven't you been reading the manga? Watching the anime? Come ON, man!"

"But you said…"

"No such thing. I use my lovely authoress powers to MAKE her…" Sword paused, "No, I sort of gently push her… Anyhow, then she sort of starts liking you on her own,"

"Oh,"

"Yeup! See, you guys would be a rather wonderful couple, except, well, Aoyama, who, to my dismay, is actually smart… But too smart… Anyways, he was there first," the crazy tween explained in a rush, "LET'S GO RUIN HER DREAMS ALREADY!" Kishuu considered this.

"Will Aoyama be there?"

"Most likely,"

"Do you happen to have devices of torment?"

"Um… I have this purple jellyroll pen… I love these… They're so… 90s…" Kishuu grabbed the pen and ran away screaming,

"GOOD ENOUGH!"

"Better go find him before Ichigo needs therapy," Sword-chan said wistfully, yearning for her pen. After picking up a few strawberries and popping them in her mouth, she scampered after him like a small, creepy puppy.

The twisted carebear girl found him standing in the 'Ichigo Memory Gallery'. Everyone had one. At least, people who had memories had them. So pretty much everyone. Currently, he was enthralled in a video of Ichigo running through the sprinkler as a four-year-old shouting 'Look, Mommy!' over and over again, right next to the one of her looking at herself in a store's window and wondering if she had gained any weight from all the chocolate covered strawberries she'd been eating.

"HEY! Tall, pale and asparagussy!" Sword screamed, rushing towards him.

"I'm not that pale…" Kishuu said hypnotically, like a robot.

"Whatever. Ichigo isn't gonna be here, you know…" said she in a huff, "I bet she's having a nightmare about you right now, anyway," Kishuu grabbed for the mentally sick person, but she was too mentally sick for him to touch without getting burned…

… I'm serious about that. Mwahaha.

X.x.X

The two found her in her dream park thing, which had a fountain of (What else?) strawberries.

"You know, I never guessed she'd be THIS obsessed with strawberries," Sword said in awe, "I mean, is this… Healthy?"

"If it's her it is," Kishuu remarked with hearts in his eyes. All the sudden he started screaming like an eight year old at an Avril Lavinge concert.

"THERE SHE IS THERE SHE IS THEEERE SHE III-IISS!" he pointed at her, sitting on a bench with dream Masaya. Ichigo turned her head to see who was screaming, but almost fainted.

"Kishuu?" she scream-asked, wondering why her perfect dream had turned into a nightmare. Kishuu was standing by her side in a second, arms around her shoulders.

"Ah, my koneko…" he cooed, "It's been so long…"

"Two days?" the cat girl retorted in disgust, "Not long enough, you perv!" Kishuu looked hurt.

"I didn't do anything to you!"

"You… YOU PERVERT!" was the only comeback she could think of. Masaya and Sword-chan watched, but with different expressions- Masaya all about to do something manly looking, and Sword mildly amused.

"But Ichigo, look at all the KishuuXIchigo fanfics there are!" he whined, "Please consider? For the FANS?"

"No. Way." Ichigo snarled, "I'll take care of you. Strawberry Meta—"

"Your attacks didn't hurt anyway." Kishuu said boredly. Ichigo's face saddened.

"What? You're… Serious?"

"Not until the last battle, koneko-chan," Kishuu sang, choosing this moment to snag a kiss. The look on kone—Ichigo's face was so beweldered and annoyed and mad that Sword-chan couldn't help but to burst out laughing.

"You jerk!" she thundered, more at Sword than at Kishuu. THEN she yelled full on at Kishuu.

"I can't believe you're STILL hung up on me! Are there ANY girls on that weird planet of yours? AUGH!" Kishuu inched away.

"Sword, is there any reason she's acting Minto-y?"

"Um… I just finished reading a lot of **The Clique** books… For some reason, I'm drawn to reading about bitchy 13 year olds…"

"… Oh?"

"Yep,"

"Could you sort of, um, push her for me?"

"Done!" using her ah-mazing authoress powers, she _slightly_ altered Masaya. He ran away with Paris Hilton (Eeeek! I kinda feel sorry for him…). She _slightly_ altered Ichigo's state of mind, and within moments, Ichigo was standing in front of Kishuu, blushing.

"I… I guess you aren't that bad…" she mumbled, digging her heel into the ground, "Um… Ah… Y'see… Uhm…"

"It's O.K, dear, dear koneko…" Kishuu said, wrapping his arms around her. Ichigo looked startled and stiff, but still didn't move. Sword-chan grinned.

"I HAVE DONE MY GOOD DEED FOR THE DAY!" she shouted, doing weird back flips.

And suddenly… THUNK.

X.x.X

Kishuu and Sword-chan landed on the floor, right next to Ichigo's bed.

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" Ichigo screamed, sitting upright in bed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she took a deep breath, "AA—" Kishuu clamped a hand over her mouth.

"I'm going to count to 3…"- Ichigo nodded-"You're going to take a deep breath"- Nod- "And you're NOT going to scream, while the nut case and I leave through the window,"- Nod.

"O.K…" Kishuu said slowly, backing away but keeping his hand on Ichigo's mouth, "1… 2… 3…" he removed his hand and teleported away. Looking frazled (A/N- I don't care if frazled isn't a word), Sword dove out of the window, with a CRASH on the hard concrete.

"I'm ooookay!"

"DANGIT!"

X.x.X

Sword-chan- Ebil me. I didn't update that often for a while.

Kishuu- Dang…


	3. Zakuro

Sword-chan- Happy Bed Time -

Kishuu- -groggy-

Sword-chan- Funny. I'm writing this in the moooorning!

Kishuu- More or less.

Sword-chan- Yeah, at least I was SUPPOSED to be writing it in the morning. So… Review replies. -happiness- PEOPLE LIKE MY STORIES!

Kishuu- Thy word as thouself knoweth it hath ended. O-O

Sowrd-chan- … Shut up. O.o By the way, anyone know if guinea pigs get the hiccups? Cuz last night Rhys (Guinea pig) was sort of lookin' like he was hiccuppin'. But he stopped. Whoo!

**REVIEW REPLIES! Whoo.**

Naoko Tasaki: **It's o.k - I'm glad you like em:D**

Ichigo- Yeah. Poor me.

Sword-chan- Yep. Poor you. o.0

Drgnmstr-Alex: **I will, I will! I hope…**

Mew Kailee: **I'M EVIL! WH00T! - So here's the next one, I guess!**

X.x.X- Zakuro -X.x.X

Minto giggled and danced and bobbed around in delight,

"I'm in Zakuro-onee's room… I'm… In…" she started breathing heavy, "I… need… inhaler…" (Yes. She has asthma now. O.o) Sword-chan promptly handed it to her. She had once tasted the medicine in an inhaler (A looong time ago when she was even stupider)… It tasted like bitter paper. At least **she** thought so. Sword-chan sighed and wondered if she should've brought Kishuu as per default instead- Bad idea. Minto was wandering around the room and touching EVERYTHING for Zakuro-rubbie-offie-ness, and probably stealing a few knick knacks.

"Mintooooo," Sword whined, "We have to get into her HEAD," The snobbish Mew turned around, hearts appearing in eyes (…)

"I'll be in Zakuro-onee's HEAD?" she asked excitedly, bouncing on her heels, "Let's go lets go lets go lets go lets go lets go lets g-"

And the two went.

X.x.X

"Woooow," Minto exclaimed at the world now before her, "It's… So… Purple…"

"… Um… Wow… It is…" Sword-chan retorted, scratching her head. There was nothing BUT this weird purple haze and a tall shadow, supposedly Zakuro. The crazed authoress started towards it.

"Welp, c'mon," Minto obediantly followed, staring at all there was to stare at- Not much, but to Minto, it was heaven. As the shadow began to appear more than a shadow (OMB IT LYKE REELY IS ZAKURO!111elevenshift1), Minto had to pull out her inhaler, and a strange sound wafted around them.

"Oh, oh, oooh, oh-oh," It sounded sort of creepy, actually.

"ZAKURO-ONEE-SAMA!" screeched Minto, leaping in towards the model. Zakuro, though a bit surprised, didn't look the least frazzled.

"Hello," she greeted dully, "Why are you here?"

"Well, see, y'know that crazy girl who's always following us along with a lot of OTHER crazy people? It turns out they love-love-LOVED our manga and anime and they write STORIES about it and THIS one wanted to write stuff about our DREAMS! So she took me to yours!"

"Oh,"

"Yeah! So what else is there?"

"… This is it,"

"Just purple haze?" Minto stopped, afraid she'd offended her idol, "I-I mean, just this MAGNIFICENT purple haze?"

"The haze covers stuff. I put it up incase crazy people invade my dreams,"

"That's sooo smart of you…" Minto sighed, but Sword-chan was NOT amazed.

"But I need to see stuff so I can write about it…" she whined, stamping her foot on the (purple?) ground.

"Will I get _paid_ for it?"

"Yeah, sure,"

"O.K!" she closed her eyes and did what you do to control lucid dreams (If you don't know what a lucid dream is… It's… Hard to explain. I read about it once. Look it up), and the purple haze VANISHED, bringing the whole of her dream world to view.

It was night time, and they were standing on a very, very steep hill, with wolves running all below them. There were tubes- Much like in Mario games XD- surrending them in a circle.

"Do you always dream with wolves, Zakuro-onee?" pestered fan-Minto, "They're LOVELY,"

"Ever since I was injected with DNA, yeah,"

"Wow… But… I don't dream about lorikeets all the time…" muttered she, depressed.

"That's o.k," Zakuro said. This was a FAIRLY boring conversation.

"I would hate to break this up," broke in the authoress, "But I'm sort of in a hurry. I even made a To-Do list for today. I NEVER DO THAT! EVER!"

"Then take a tube!" Zakuro snapped, as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Y-YES MA'M!" shouted Minto, "Let's take the blue one," she said to Sword-chan.

"I wanna take the green one,"

"But all of them except the blue, red, orange, pink, and _striped_ ones are green!" Minto whined, but before Sword-chan could say anything, she'd somehow rolled up like a piece of paper (PAPER MARIO!) and went down the tube. Forgetting about wanting to go down the green tube, Sword-chan, curious of how it'd be to roll oneself up, followed Minto while Zakuro stayed there, probably not wanting to follow anyways. I mean, it was her dream world- She'd seen it all before.

X.x.X

Minto was already puffing her inhaler by the time Sword got there. A giant, purple Composition was lying before her, on a giant pine desk. It strangley reminded Sword-chan of the extra pictures of the Mew Mews with their stuff as desk knick knacks- Rings, pens, paper weights, et cetera. Minto gasped,

"Her… Plan book…"

"Don't you mean her DIARY?"

"Models keep PLAN BOOKS, not DIARIES, stupid!" Minto snapped before returning to the book. She (With some difficulty) raised the giant cover and read the words on the first page,

"Dear Journal,"

"I TOLD YOU IT WAS A DIARY!" Sword interjected.

"It's a JOURNAL, not a DIARY! Don't you know anything?" Minto insisted. She felt the top of her bun feverishly and continued,

"Today I found out I was injected with the DNA of some type of wolf. That's not so bad, I guess. But I don't want to join that group of tweens… They're to cute for me, and I work alone…

"Dear Journal,

I joined the group anyways, and now I have to work at this café. The number of customers greatly increased. The uniform is almost likable- Mine is purple.

This girl, Aizawa Minto, is like, my biggest fan. It's flattering to know I appeal to both genders, but it's sort of creepy how she knew the last four digits of my home phone number," Minto stopped, her face turning red.

"You ARE a stalker!" Sword-chan gasped.

"N-No… I just wanted to call her and I saw the last four digits on Ryou's employee contact list. I asked her for her number… To, um, call her for advice and stuff, y'know, and I just said… I don't need the last four digits…" Sword-chan's eyes widened and she gasped AGAIN.

"You copied them DOWN? Ohemgeeee!"

"SO? Whatever… Let's go down another tube, already!" she dragged Sword-chan (Litterally) from the notebook and pushed her into the tube.

X.x.X

After discovering Zakuro had dissappeared, the duo jumped down the pink tube (There was a label on it that said 'CHILDHOOD DREAMS' and Minto was particularly interested)

"This is like being in a Zakuro Fujiwara mueseum or something…" Minto sighed in absolute pleasure.

"Check this out!" Sword-chan said in a bemused tone, "She dreamt a WHOLE CANDY LAND!"

"How can someone so skinny love candy so much?" Minto wondered aloud, "I bet she excersises like crazy,"

"Yeah, that and she has a super high matabilism. Anyways, it says she dreamt this when she was about 4 and DESPERATLY wanted candy, but was afraid of zits- Like, petrified,"

"Oh… Kay…" Minto was a little confused, as if she didn't see a reason that Zakuro WOULD be afraid, since she was so utterly flawless and imune to zits and all. She shrugged, brushing the bewelderment away and skipped into candy land, ignoring Sword-chan when she scrambled after her screaming.

"**_WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_**"- Deep breath- "**_WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"_** Until Minto was so annoyed she nearly stabbed her to death with a lollipop stick, causing Sword to throw gumdrops at her… That got stuck in her hair. Eep- Lesson learned: Do NOT mess with Minto's hair. Let's just say that one more authoress is afraid of oreo cookies now, and a zillion more cookies are now safe from human digestive systems.

Zakuro was among the candy canes in CANDY CANE FOREST (Original, no?), chatting with the Lollipop Princess- Except Zakuro looked exactly like she did as a child. Minto cooed and giggled over how cute Zakuro looked before Sword-chan whacked her with a peppermint pillow and pulled her away.

X.x.X

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_. Fan and crazed authoress were tossed to the ground as an alarm clock, shaped like a moon, went off.

"Oh… I forgot!" Minto hissed, "Zakuro gets up EVERY DAY at 4 AM…"

"To WHAT?"

"Jog a little, go to a few modeling gigs…"

"And you know this _how_?"

"I didn't tap her phones!"

"Oh, good, cuz I thought that you DID tap her phones,"

"Noo!" Minto groaned, "That's supposed to be FUNNY! I'm obviously denying something with bad acting I OBVIOUSLY did!"

"Oh. Well… It wasn't funny,"

"Screw off!"

"Ooooh, I'm gonna tell your Nana!"

"PLEASE! Don't…"

"Mwahaha…" Suddenly, Zakuro's grogggy voice drifted around them,

"Who's in here? Don't make me call security…" Sword-chan's eyes showed pure horror- She threw a pillow at the model and pushed Minto and herself out an open window (Why do we always exit from the window?)

Thankfully, Zakuro lived in a newfangled, really really long, one story house, so they could land on their feet and run off into the dawn. Insert cowboy music.

CUT!

X.x.X

Sword-chan- Fun-nish.

Kishu- That was sort of boring. O.o

Sword-chan- ;n; I know.


End file.
